


Meta-Fucking: A Fourth-Wall Breaking Sex Story

by totallynotnatalie



Category: GWA - Fandom, Original Work, gonewildaudio - Fandom
Genre: Anatomy Lessons, Erotic Writing Tropes, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor, Kissing Your Iliac Crest, Literal Dialogue, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:20:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28177548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotnatalie/pseuds/totallynotnatalie
Summary: I wanted to do a quick parody script about the struggles of writing erotic audio. It's mostly just jokes about one-sided conversations and describing things for the listener with a little anatomy humor mixed in.
Relationships: A4A - Relationship
Kudos: 1





	Meta-Fucking: A Fourth-Wall Breaking Sex Story

**Author's Note:**

> This is a script for the GWA subreddits. Please contact me before posting a recording of this work anywhere else.
> 
> This content is intended for 18+ audiences only.
> 
> Feel free to modify the script to meet your needs.

[A4A] Meta-Fucking: A Fourth-Wall Breaking Sex Story [Parody][Erotic Audio Writing Tropes][Humor][Literal Dialogue][Anatomy Lessons][Kissing Your Iliac Crest]

Script Notes: This script is meant to be a play on the struggles of trying to write erotic scripts. It's mostly just jokes about how to describe a scene without being too obvious and other ridiculousness. It's a parody and not meant to be taken seriously at all. 

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I've got something to tell you. But, I'm afraid that it's just a cliche. I know. I'm sorry. The first sentence is always cliche. 

Well, it's either a cliche or it's just some variation on 'hi' or 'hey' or 'hey babe' or 'what's up' because, somehow, I've always just arrived where ever you are and all the best conversations apparently have to happen the moment I walk in the door. 

Again. I'm sorry. 

But, now that I'm here, you can't ask me where I've been because it's not plot-relevant. 

But I do need to explain our relationship to you even though you likely already know that you're my friend or partner or roommate or sister or whatever. 

And I also need to say something to establish sexual tension without mentioning anything too specific about your physical appearance.

Awww, I'd thought you like hearing that. 

I also wanted to tell you that you're kind and compassionate and having many wonderful qualities....that all just happen to be generic traits that everybody has. 

I am very kind-hearted. I know. 

Okay, now you say something. 

Great. Let me just repeat what you said back to you as though you can't hear the sound of your own voice. 

Now I can agree with whatever you just said. Isn't that nice?

Okay, now let me ask you something. 

There we go. 

Thanks. Just give me a second to say something that implies that your answer was some variation of 'yes'. 

Good. I'm glad that we establish those things. Now, I can tell you something that I normally wouldn't say until we had a much longer conversation....but that I also apparently need to say right this moment so that nobody gets bored. 

Erm, really bold suggestion that we get together? 

Awww, you're so cute when you agree with my far too sexually explicit non-sequiturs. 

It makes me want to kiss you while also explaining to you that I am kissing you. 

Oh, you also want to be kissed. Okay, I will kiss you at this exact time. 

*kiss*

Now, I will mention that your lips taste good to imply that I am done kissing you. 

And I would call you cute again too, but I'm terrified that you will judge me for using the same adjective twice in a row. 

Luckily, I perused a thesaurus prior to confessing my love to you tonight...even though I didn't know that this chance encounter would be happening. Isn't that convenient? 

Anyway, I hope you don't mind if I call you....pleasant instead. After all, pleasant is word that is commonly associated with all gender identities. So, I thought you would like that one since we never established what gender you are. 

Yes, you are a most pleasant person. This makes me want to do sexual things with you.

And it is clear that our sexy time cannot wait because of a hidden passion that we both have for each other that neither of us ever felt the need to mention until a few moments ago. 

Good thing that we both somehow wearing very sexy clothes despite not preparing at all for this encounter.

Also, it's a fetish of mine to describe where we are in relation to each other. So, I hope that you don't mind me telling you that you feel so good wrapped up in my arms, with your shoulders touching mine, your body facing south, while my body faces north, while your head is slightly tilted southeast, and mine is facing northwest. 

I would like to hold you like this for longer, but we will clearly become bored if we spend more than three sentences thinking about any one action.

So, let me move on to kissing different parts of your body. I will name each part of your body before I kiss it so you also have the opportunity to learn some basic anatomy. 

In case you didn't know, this is your ear

*kiss*

And this is your mouth 

*kiss*

And this is your scapula

*kiss*

I hope that was informative. I think I'm supposed to say something seductive now. Let's see.....

(seductive) I can teach you more about anatomy if you take your clothes off. 

I am glad that line worked on you despite being awful. You are a very agreeable person. You know that? 

Hey, I mean it! I did say it in part to make you more aroused. But I also know that it's true. You're a really great person even if that is a generic compliment that could apply to anybody. Okay?

Great, it is convenient that you agree with me because otherwise, we would have had to delay sexual gratification. 

Now, let's not dwell on this because we are both sexually restless. Let me help you take your clothes off. 

No, wait, here. Let me name the specific item of clothing I want to help you remove. Otherwise, we might get confused. 

There. Doesn't that make it easier?

Good

Wow, look at how lucky we are. None of our clasps or zippers even got stuck. It's almost like this isn't real life. I guess we're just experts at removing clothing.

Now, let's lay down together. 

Oooh. Do you mind if I describe our exact configuration again? You look so lovely laying underneath me while my legs straddle your body and my toes remain pointed at a 45-degree angle. 

Now, I think we should engage in foreplay. 

(seductive) Would you like another anatomy lesson? 

Excellent!

This is your Sternum

*kiss*

And your Serratus Anterior

*kiss*

And your Iliac Crest

*kiss*

Okay, I think that is enough anatomy. Let us now engage in sexual activity without taking any precautions because it's too awkward to write those lines in-even in an audio where I just spoke about kissing your Iliac Crest. 

Good yes. You are also wet or hard and ready for sex at the exact same time that I am. 

I will now use either the word 'pussy' or the word 'cock' in a bunch of sentences in a row. But don't worry I'll switch to either 'cunt' or 'dick' before you can grow bored of my limited dictation. 

Heck, I might even throw a 'vagina' or a 'penis' in there if you want me to kiss your Serratus Anterior again. 

I am glad that you find this acceptable. 

I will now engage in a lot of vague moaning to imply that I am getting aroused. Please stand by.

*groan*

Oh, baby, you feel so good

*moan*

Oh, baby, I'm getting close even though it's only been forty-five seconds. 

*gasp*

Oh, fuck me harder baby.

*sigh*

I'm almost there.

*moan*

And *pant* this *pant* would be the point where I would orgasm if this entire script wasn't completely ridiculous. So, instead, I'll just fake it for a couple of seconds and you can do whatever you want.

*overly dramatic fake orgasm*

*sigh* Thank you, darling. That was excellent. 

I would say more, but I think this scene should end now because I'm tired and I've carried this joke about far as it can go. 

*laugh* I'm glad that you once again conveniently agree. 

Good night love.


End file.
